Leaving
by Light Catastrophe
Summary: Athrun's scared and because of it, Kira is leaving:  leaving friendship, leaving love. Yaoi, angst, ONESHOT.


Leaving

by Light Catastrophe

**Rating**: M

**Warnings**: YAOI, angst, and do I smell LEMONS?

**Disclaimer**: Oh, I only wish I owned their sexy asses. Sometimes life is just so cruel.

**Author's babblings**: I was reading fanfiction, as always, right? And I decided that there are way too many Athrun/Kira fanfics that have Athrun as uke. I mean, does Kira not SCREAM uke? Maybe it's just me. Anyways, I watched the Gundam SEED series and decided to write this. Enjoy.

Oh and another thing: why can I ONLY write using first person? The world may never know.

Kira's point of view

AKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA

"Athrun?" I ask softly, peering in at him from the doorway.

He looks up, shaggy hair falling in front of emerald eyes. I close my own eyes, just for a second, committing that picture to memory. "Yes?' he asks and I momentarily forget what I came for.

I shake my head. "I was just going to order in some Chinese for dinner. Is that alright?"

Nodding, he waves me away. "That's fine."

Slightly hurt, I close the door behind me. Unwanted tears spring to my eyes. Angrily, I wipe them away, walk to the phone and order exactly what I know Athrun loves. I know everything about him.

After the war ended, Athrun and I started living together as roommates. We were best friends; we told each other everything. Now, two years later, he tells me nothing. He keeps himself in that god damn study all day, working. He's keeping something from me. I love him. I've known that for awhile now. But I'm beginning to think he hates being around me. Maybe I should move out. It would make him happier.

The doorbell rings and shakes me from my thoughts. Quickly, I hop up and pay the delivery guy, leaving him a generous tip. He smiles and thanks me before leaving.

Once again, I open the door to Athrun's study. "Food's here," I say, as cheerfully as I can manage.

He barely takes the time to glance up and mutter "alright" before he goes back to his paperwork. What does he DO all the time anyway?

Sighing dejectedly, I leave, figuring he'd come and eat with me eventually.

I sat in front of the television. Hours passed. The food remained untouched, growing cold. Figures on the screen blinked by meaninglessly. Finally, after weeks of hiding it inside, I cried - for my lost friendship and for my love, which I knew would never be returned.

Silent sobs wracked my body. I never even noticed when Athrun stepped into the room. "Kira, are you alright?"

I flinched away when I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Don't."

"If this is about the food, I can pay you back-"

"It's not about the food, you _bastard_!" I yelled, more tears spilling from my eyes. "I don't know who you are anymore. We used to be friends. You used to tell me things."

"Kira, I-"

"I'm leaving." As I moved to get up and leave though, a strong hand grasped my wrist while another grabbed my chin and forced me to look into his deep green eyes.

My heart pounded in my chest and butterflies danced in my stomach. His face was so close to mine; I could feel his breath on my lips. He couldn't possibly know the effect he had on me.

"No," he said. "I won't let you."

"Why not?'

Then his lips were pressed against mine. I couldn't think. I couldn't move. But I could feel and boy did it feel wonderful.

"That's why."

He kissed away the remnants of tears that leaked from the corners of my eyes. Suddenly, I panicked and wriggled out from his grasp, the tears coming back full force. "W-what are you doing?" I managed to stammer out.

"Kira," he says, reaching out and pulling me to his chest, his own eyes beginning to water up. "I love you. Please don't hate me."

"No," I said, struggling weakly. "I love you, but you don't love me. If you loved me, you wouldn't be doing this to me."

"I was scared. I've never… felt like this before. I'm so sorry, Kira. Forgive me?"

At this, my struggling stopped completely, my breathing sped up, my crying continued, but I didn't move. I could feel his heart pounding steadily in his chest, proving this was not a dream; this was actually happening.

"Prove it," I whispered, after a period of long silence.

He pulled back, looked straight into my eyes, and then picked me up bridal style and carried me to his bedroom - _his_ bedroom. Despite the fact that we had lived in the same apartment for two years, I had only been in his room a handful of times. It was as though it was sacred. But now, Athrun was opening this up to me. He placed me gently on his bed and I barely had time to take a good look before he was one top of me, kissing me desperately.

This kiss was different than the previous one. Before, it had been slow, careful, now it was desperate and passionate. Finally, I felt his heart speed up in a sudden rush of adrenaline.

His lips left mine and started making their way down my neck, suckling, leaving bruises, marking me as his. Soft, purple hair brushed against my nose.

He fumbled with my shirt, making me almost laugh - almost. This was a side of Athrun hardly anyone had seen. He was normally so graceful, his composure perfectly intact. He never fumbled. Well, hardly ever.

Finally, my shirt was off, soon followed by my pants and then my boxers, leaving me horribly exposed beneath his burning stare. He stopped and I felt my heart sink. He didn't like what he saw. I was too skinny, too feminine. Then he looked up, made eye contact with me and smiled. "Kira, you are beautiful."

My eyes went wide. "No."

"Yes," he said, kissing me once again.

I feel too naked; he is still wearing all of his clothes. "Athrun, please," I whimper and tug at his shirt.

Nodding, he gets up and leaves the room. I panic. Where has he gone? No, no, no! But then he is back, clothes gone, and he is holding a bottle of something. HE is the beautiful one: perfect skin, perfect body. What does he see in me, if anything?

"Don't doubt, Kira," he whispers in my ear. "I love you."

And I know what is coming next. I'm scared; I've never done this before. Athrun must have seen my worries. "What, nearly twenty and you never done this before?" he laughs.

"N-no."

He smiles, wiping away my next worry. "Neither have I, but I know it will hurt. Do you want to do this?"

"Yes," I say, quickly and he grins again. Coating his fingers with something from inside that bottle, he pushes a finger into my entrance and I let out a yelp.

"Ouch."

Reaching with his free hand, he pulls me flush against his body, murmuring comforting words to me, and inserts another finger, stretching me with scissoring motions. When he finishes, he lays me back on the bed and spreads my legs.

"Are you ready?" he asks.

I nod and prepare myself, closing my eyes. Slowing, carefully, I feel him push inside of me. He is so big. I feel tears leaking from my eyes at the pain of being penetrated for the first time. "Kira, are you okay? We can stop. I don't want to hurt you."

Furiously, I shake my head. "No, just… go slow."

He nods and pushes all the way inside of me. In spite of the pain, I feel whole, complete. He gives me a moment to adjust before starting a rhythm of thrusting in and out, in and out. He shifts our angle a bit and suddenly I am seeing stars. The pain is gone, pure pleasure exists in its place. He reaches between us and grabs my own erection, pumping it in time with his thrusting.

I never want it to end. I want this moment to last forever. But it doesn't. I can feel myself coming to the edge. And before I know it, I come all over our stomachs and his hand. He smiles and pumps in once more before, coming inside of me and collapsing on top of my smaller frame.

"Why was I scared?" he asks after we catch our breaths.

I shake my head and snuggle against him. "Don't be scared again."

"I love you. Always and forever."

AKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA

Babblings: Yes, yes, I know. Cliché. Kill me. It's just been so long since I've written that sort of lemon, so I just felt the need. Anyways, REVIEW. I love you!


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